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Chapter Seven: Futile Search
“Dragons are temperamental creatures, full of very strong emotions. One of the strongest is the most important emotion, anger. Anger is what drives us, it is what empowers us. This is why dragons are our most formidable ally.”
Kelsi looked up from her notes. “What about love or joy? Aren’t those strong emotions?”
Mistress laughed a quiet laugh that made the hairs on the back of Kelsi’s neck stand up. “Strong? Those feeble “emotions”? Those are mere child’s feelings, not worthy of being in the same sentence as power. “Love” and “joy” will never be able to compare with anger and hate just as the weak will never be able to measure up to the mighty.”
Kelsi wiggled her nose, slightly confused. Love, the one thing she ached for, was considered weak? She defiantly had lots to learn.
“You must banish all your hunger for love, Kelsi. Do not try to deny it; I know your desires better than you do yourself. All this wishing and hoping and crying over love is weak and I won’t tolerate it any longer. Nor will I put up with this “confusion” that plagues you. Even if you are puzzled about something you must not let is how. You have potential to be a great leader, Kelsi, and leaders do not show weak emotions like confusion and fear. They only emulate strength and power. You must root out these inferior human tendencies that were planted into your head while you were on Nesserum. Essentially everything you learned on Nesserum must be discarded, forgotten. Their human ways have done much damage within you but in time we can change that.”
Kelsi listened, clearly fascinated. Mistress was practically commanding her to become an emotionless stone. How long would that take her? She scribbled down some of what Mistress had just said and roughly sketched a very detailed drawing of a dragon. Gazing at the dragon’s sharp teeth and spines, Kelsi winced. She defiantly wouldn’t want to get on a dragon’s bad side, especially if their temper was as legendary as Mistress had said it was. Just by looking into its wide, penetrating eyes she could tell that they weren’t friendly.
“You did get that last part,” Mistress said, her tone straight and commanding. “You may leave now; lunch will be waiting for you in your room.”
Kelsi silently nodded her thanks and left the room, letting out her breath as she walked swiftly down the empty hallways. Though she knew that Mistress was helping her it didn’t keep the prickling sensation on the back of her neck. Try as she might, Mistress still scared her terribly.
The past few weeks had been very much the same, lessons with Mistress for the better part of the day then the rest to herself, generally to do as she pleased unless Mistress said otherwise. Though in retrospect it sounded rather boring, Kelsi found everything she had learned enthralling. She clung to every word Mistress said, finally fitting together the pieces of her perplexing life. Even in her spare time she sought after information, taking books from her desk and reading them feverishly. The scrolls written in a different language were still unintelligible but she had got out the distorted star charts and studied them. She even went as far as sneaking out of her room at night to find the constellations in the darkened sky. Mistress probably knew about her midnight escapades but asking permission would be giving Mistress more power. Mistress already had so much power over her; Kelsi felt she had to fight back in some small way.
Walking down the cryptic corridors, Kelsi smiled as she realized that she now knew her way around the enormous estate. Actually, she knew her way around some of the estate. There were parts of the building that Kelsi had never explored because she was too afraid of what Mistress would say or do. Yet again Kelsi felt another wave of resentment surge through her. She was grateful for all that Mistress had given her but was it worth the fear and imprisonment? The question frequently flew through Kelsi’s mind, agitating her even more.
Kelsi heaved the heavy plank door open, breathing easier now that she was in her own room. Her room was tranquil and she found it a sort of haven from Mistress, even though she knew there wasn’t anything keeping Mistress from entering.
A tray sat on Kelsi’s desk, slowly steaming and smelling delicious. She sat down and examined the food, realizing that even though she didn’t recognize much of it she would hungrily consume it anyways. Munching on some sort of wheat bread, she gazed out the window and admired the fire colored leaves. It was probably mid-autumn so Kelsi estimated that she had been at this estate for about a month, though it felt like she had been here for years. Disappointed, Kelsi noted that she hadn’t learned about “the others” that had taken Lorna captive. The majority of the new information that Kelsi had acquired was history of the sister planets and trivia about the magical creatures that Mistress promised Kelsi soon would interact with. Actual magic wasn’t something had learned about . . . yet. In time Mistress would teach her, but for now she would have to be content with the rare snatches she had seen. She had only seen Mistress do it once or twice and that time Caleb opened the door.
Caleb. That was someone Kelsi hadn’t thought about for a while. She blew on a spoonful of stew as she tried to remember the last time she had seen him.
It was the day after I had seen the bandages on his hands, Kelsi thought, shocked that it had been so long ago. She had assumed that he was gone because he was getting treatment for his injured hands. Now I’m not so sure. What was it that Mistress said when I asked after him? Something about how he was paying for him mistakes. When I asked her what that meant she changed the subject and started to talk about the evil’s of faeries. Is Caleb okay? Kelsi began to worry. He had always been nice to her, what mistakes could he have possibly made? Maybe I should look for him. That’s ridiculous! She chided herself instantly. Mistress would be furious if she found out. But he would do the same for me, I know he would.
Kelsi stood up and brushed the crumbs off her skirt with resolution. She snuck out of her room quietly, tiptoeing down half of the hallway before she nearly burst into peals of laughter. Mistress would suspect her of being up to something if she acted so suspicious. She began to walk regularly, opening every door she came to. After an hour Kelsi began to feel discouraged.
Who am I kidding? I’m never going to find him, this place is huge! I should just go back to my room. She began to turn around until she heard a noise in the next corridor. She tried one of the doors but found it was locked.
“Is anyone there?” She asked and softly knocked.
“Kelsi?” A familiar, cold voice sounded from behind her.
She whipped around. “Mistress, you must be the person I heard!”
“What are you doing here?” Mistress brushed past Kelsi, checking the locked door. A slight look of relief flitted across her face for a mere second.
“I’m just looking for the . . . library!” Kelsi replied a little too brightly.
“The library?”
“You mentioned a library before and it sounded rather intriguing.” Kelsi nearly breathed a sigh of relief. It seemed Mistress was taking the bait.
“Why didn’t you just ask me where it is?”
“I didn’t want to bother you. I just thought I’d read up a bit more on dragons. They’re just such fascinating creatures! I mean, how many animals that colossal actually fly? Not many! And the fact that they’re so intelligent, it’s just so amazing!” In her relief Kelsi found herself babbling.
“I’ll show you where the library is,” Mistress began to lead the way.
Kelsi began to follow but looked back reluctantly. She knew she heard something and it wasn’t Mistress. Something was behind that locked door, something that Kelsi wasn’t supposed to know about and that made it all the more interesting. It made it more vital that she figure out what it was.
